YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT, LIKE IT OR NOT<\/p>\n
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
\n\u2015 Sophia Loren<\/p>\n
First, it was horsemeat.\u00a0 We thought<\/span> we were eating succulent bits of beef but to our horror, we discovered we were shoving Dobbin into our lasagna.\u00a0 Worse, we have been devouring him topped with cheese, tomato and soup\u00e7on of lettuce in our burgers.\u00a0 We were horrified.\u00a0 Tesco, a major seller of deceptive equine products ran full page ads apologizing for misleading their customers, insisting they had no idea that they were mislabeling their products.<\/p>\n The rest of the world scoffs at English fastidiousness. \u201cSo what?\u201d they say in at least 358 different languages.\u00a0 \u00a0The French adore horsemeat\u2026in fact they hint that is why they are so romantic in bed, in contrast to the British who apologize before they even mange to get started.\u00a0 The Irish add a wine sauce to anything and once tasted don\u2019t give a damn.<\/p>\n But horsemeat in our dinners is not the worst of it.\u00a0 Oh, no.<\/p>\n Now that we have managed to come to terms with the brutal fact that the glorious winner of Epsom Downs faces a future in our goulash, we have another gastronomic hurdle to cross.\u00a0 Sixty percent of the tuna we buy to fill our children\u2019s lunch boxes and add flavor to our casseroles is not tuna at all<\/span>.\u00a0 It is escolar, an oily fish that causes diarrhea.\u00a0 That is why so many of us have that irresistible urge to relieve ourselves after indulging in those cute canap\u00e9s topped with a pimento.\u00a0 And you thought it was the conversation.<\/p>\n The fact is that most restaurants serve escolar and tell us it is albacore tuna. No wonder we cannot figure out why that delicious Salad Ni\u00e7oise sent us to the loo within moments of savoring it flavor. It wasn\u2019t that drink you had to wash it down.\u00a0 It was tacky escolar putting on airs.<\/p>\n Everyone knows that we are what we eat.\u00a0 It is now apparent that when we feed our children stew, they could easily be neighing for their supper in a matter of weeks.\u00a0 What is far more frightening, that tuna fish sandwich that every child cannot resist could very well send him swimming in the Atlantic never to return. \u00a0It has already happened in my family.<\/p>\n My Aunt Gert swears that the reason her daughter Penny became an Olympic swimmer was that she ate nothing but tuna fish for SEVEN years.\u00a0 She stopped eating it that unforgettable day when she cramped up just as she was approaching the finish line in Rome in 1960.\u00a0 She blamed her loss on nerves, but we know better.\u00a0 It wasn\u2019t the pasta either.<\/p>\n My mother\u2019s staple casserole was tuna fish mixed with cream of mushroom soup topped with crumbled crisps. She served it at every party.\u00a0 We never understood why everyone who ate it got the \u201cflu\u201d the next day.\u00a0 We thought it was Ohio weather.<\/p>\n The moral of this shocking tale is that if you want to win the big fight, eat a bull and if you think you are gay, eat fruit.<\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT, LIKE IT OR NOT Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. \u2015 Sophia Loren First, it was horsemeat.\u00a0 We thought we were eating succulent bits…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[837],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-6614","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-joe-cillo"},"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":true,"span_bottom":"