{"id":2897,"date":"2012-09-09T01:10:19","date_gmt":"2012-09-09T01:10:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/forallevents.com\/reviews\/?p=2897"},"modified":"2012-09-09T01:10:19","modified_gmt":"2012-09-09T01:10:19","slug":"we-do-it-our-way","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/forallevents.com\/reviews\/we-do-it-our-way\/","title":{"rendered":"WE DO IT OUR WAY"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\n

WE DO IT OUR WAY<\/strong><\/p>\n

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.
\nJosh Billings<\/p>\n

\n

\n

You are waiting for your mother on her front porch.\u00a0 You watch her as she puts on her coat and grabs her purse.\u00a0 She opens the door and smiles at you and then stops.\u00a0 \u201cI forgot my keys,\u201d she says and disappears back into the house.\u00a0 She returns to the door, opens it and says, \u201cOh dear! Fluffy!\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She disappears into the house and puts the dog in his cage.\u00a0 She returns to the door, and then she pauses.\u00a0 She goes into her closet to get her scarf.\u00a0 She approaches the door and then she says, \u201cOh, Oh.\u00a0 I can\u2019t remember if I put money in my wallet.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She checks her wallet and says, \u201cSorry, darling.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t mean to keep you waiting,\u201d and\u00a0\u00a0 she pauses.\u00a0 She goes back to her desk, takes out her check book and puts it in her purse.\u00a0 She buttons her coat, shuts her purse gives the house one more look and beams at you.\u00a0 \u201cAll ready!!!\u201d she exclaims.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Then she stops.\u00a0 \u201cDid I leave the gas burner on?\u201d she asks.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

It is more than you can stand.\u00a0 \u201cMother, why don\u2019t you make a check list and tape it to the door?\u00a0 Then you would be able to go right down that list and get everything ready before I get here.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She looks at you and her eyes narrow.\u00a0 \u201cWhy should I do that?\u201d she says.\u00a0 \u201cMy memory is perfect.\u00a0 I know what I need to take with me when I leave the house.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

If you were smart, you would take her arm and help her down the steps without saying a word.\u00a0 But you are human.\u00a0 You had seen this ridiculous rigmarole every single time you take her shopping or to the doctor and it is just too much.\u00a0 \u201cMother,\u201d you say.\u00a0 \u201cI will make the list for you.\u00a0 I have seen you do this at least a hundred times and it takes forever.\u00a0 I got here fifteen minutes ago and now you are late for your appointment.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You mother looks at you with fire in her eyes.\u00a0 \u201cYou go on,\u201d she says.\u00a0 \u201cI will call a cab.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Why won\u2019t she take your advice?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

She won\u2019t listen to you because she has spent a lifetime telling YOU what to do.\u00a0 She has convinced herself that she knows better than you even though it is obvious now that she doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 To make matters worse, the next time you pick her up she is standing at the door completely organized.\u00a0 She beams at you.\u00a0 \u201cEllen was telling me how she had so many little things to think about before she left the house that she never got out.\u00a0 So do you know what she does?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You shake your head afraid to say anything and your mother nods wisely.\u00a0 \u201cShe tapes a list to the front door and checks everything off. See?\u201d and your mother points to a checklist taped to the side of the door.\u00a0 \u201cI thought that was such good idea that I did it myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Your mother went to school with Ellen.\u00a0 She was her bridesmaid.\u00a0 The two of them exchanged advice about how to toilet train YOU and what to do when your dad got a wandering eye.\u00a0 Your mother listens to Ellen and Ellen listens to her.\u00a0 They have been on the same page for years.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Your father pays all his bills in person.\u00a0 At the end of each month, he gets in the car and drives to the water company, the phone company payment center, the garbage collector and the gardener.\u00a0 He writes his check right in front of them and waits for each of them to stamp \u2018paid\u2019 on the bill.\u00a0 Some months this routine can take him two days to complete.\u00a0 \u201cI don\u2019t trust the post office,\u201d he said.\u00a0 \u201cThey lose letters all the time.\u00a0 I am not going to pay interest on a bill when I know I paid on time.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cDad,\u201d you say.\u00a0 \u201cYour bank has an on line bill payment program.\u00a0 I can show you how to use it and you could save all the money you spend on those personalized checks and all the time and gasoline you waste driving to all these companies by spending less than fifteen minutes at the desk.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You father looks at you as if you had just suggested he run over an innocent child.\u00a0 \u201cI have been paying my bills this way for fifty years,\u201d he says.\u00a0 \u201cI have a perfect credit rating.\u00a0 I don\u2019t owe one cent to anyone and I intend to keep it that way.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You know better than to argue with that one.\u00a0 You have been trying to pay off your credit card for five years now and your college loan is still years from being off the books.\u00a0 Your car payments are overdue and you still haven\u2019t managed to pay anything toward the principal on your mortgage.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Not two months after this conversation, your father takes you out for a beer and he says, \u201cSon, have you heard about the new bill payment option at Chase Bank?\u00a0 It is really simple.\u00a0 My banker showed me how to do it in less than an hour.\u00a0 Why I can even set up automatic payments and not have to worry.\u00a0 I tell you, its amazing what these financial guys think of, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

And if you are smart, you will say, \u201cIt sure is!\u00a0 How about another beer, dad?\u00a0 This one is on me.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

No one likes to feel that they cannot handle their own business of living.\u00a0 The last person in the world they think can tell them a more efficient way to operate is the child they brought into the world.\u00a0 They spent a lifetime teaching you how to organize your life and they aren\u2019t going to admit that you could have discovered an easier way to accomplish the same thing.\u00a0 They take advice from people they think are experts and they listen to their friends.\u00a0 When you think about it, your parents have underwea<\/span>r that is older than you are.\u00a0 What right have you to tell them how to run their lives?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

You will understand how they feel the day your five year old says \u201cDaddy why are you trying to light that match in the wind?\u00a0 It keeps blowing out.\u201d and you say,\u201d Listen Junior. You let daddy light this match his way and you go play with your scooter. \u201c<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Get it?<\/p>\n

\n

\n

\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

WE DO IT OUR WAY Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take. Josh Billings You are waiting for your mother on her front porch.\u00a0 You…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[837],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2897","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-joe-cillo"},"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":true,"span_bottom":"