FAT AND THIN<\/p>\n
Thin people are beautiful
\nBut fat people are adorable.
\nJackie Gleason<\/p>\n
There is a study out trying to figure out why lesbians tend to be overweight and it is totally misdirected.\u00a0 It isn\u2019t lesbians who tend to be plump, it is good cooks and who was the best cook ever?<\/p>\n
Answer:\u00a0 Your mother.<\/p>\n
No one in the world made better macaroni and cheese or apple pie. When your mum made you breakfast, no restaurant could match it and certainly your dad couldn\u2019t do much at the stove except for an outdoor barbeque or one fancy company dish like his famous crab cioppino.<\/p>\n
The truth is that it isn\u2019t lesbians who have to fight their weight, it is anyone, male, female, straight or gay who loves to cook. If you have a way with food you are going to taste what you create\u2026and those itty-bitty spoonfuls of chocolate custard or Alfredo sauce go straight to the hips.<\/p>\n
Look at our own darling Andrew Kaye. He has never cooked for me (yet) but he knows good food.\u00a0 He savors the texture, recognizes the bouquet of herbs and spices and respects dramatic cuisine.\u00a0 His silhouette is certainly not angular.\u00a0 It is just round enough.<\/p>\n
For my part, I refuse to go to a skinny persons house for dinner.\u00a0 I am not going to waste a meal on someone who doesn\u2019t present each dish with a bit of flair and an eye for flavor.\u00a0 I made that mistake only once.\u00a0 A woman who shall remain nameless in case she figures out why I am always busy at dinnertime when she calls, invited me over for a gala holiday celebration. She was the type who spent mornings at the gym, bench-pressing hundreds of pounds.\u00a0 Afternoons she worked out on the trampoline and evenings she did Zumba.\u00a0 The truth is I should have known what to expect.<\/p>\n
I appeared, bottle of wine in hand with an empty, expectant tummy and what did I see?\u00a0 Pizza delivered from the corner shop, pre-sliced mass-produced bread and instant coffee. I know you won\u2019t believe me, but the only spread available was marmite.\u00a0\u00a0 There wasn\u2019t even background music to hide the gagging of the guests.\u00a0 I immediately feigned a headache and hustled over to the nearest Waitrose for a gourmet experience.\u00a0 A dinner is a terrible thing to lose\u2026especially if you skipped lunch.<\/p>\n
So I am campaigning for people to stop casting negative aspersions on corpulence.\u00a0 Give me someone with a decent amount of curves and a good wiggle to their walk and I will immediately lobby to share a meal with them.\u00a0 If you are lean, buff and tanned I would not dream of touching your soup, much less your flamb\u00e9 cherries jubilee. Show me a comfy, well-padded cheerful person in a flowered apron and I am right there at her dinner table.\u00a0 I promise to bring the wine.<\/p>\n
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