OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL!!!!<\/p>\n
People are obsessed with\u2026
\nHairless, fatless Barbie Dolls.
\nGaby Hoffman<\/p>\n
A U.S. study has concluded that the dolls you play with influence your career choices.\u00a0 When American children play with sexy Barbie dolls, they want to grow up to do girlie things like go to Hollywood and get humped by the stars but when they play with dolls made out of potatoes, they think there is no limit to what they can do with their lives.\u00a0 It all goes to show that image is everything.<\/p>\n
You have to admit that when you see curvaceous women in movies and on television, they are always doing very feminine things like flirting with policemen or dancing provocatively in revealing undies.\u00a0 You KNOW instinctively that women like that never pay for a meal or have to take a bus home.\u00a0 It is the thick-ankled, ladies in print dresses with no visible cleavage, who end up locked to a stove and a Hoover in their prime.\u00a0 And what fun is that?<\/p>\n
Every med student who specializes in plastic surgery instead healing the poor knows what a money-maker that pre-conceived notion is. Ordinarily clever women will blow their grocery money on a shot of silicone to puff up their lips, just to be like the toys we played with as a child.\u00a0 If we change our playthings, our self-image will change as well.\u00a0 We won\u2019t give a toss about Barbie\u2019s or Ken\u2019s silhouette. We will thirst for the bumps and curves of a root vegetable.<\/p>\n
Indeed, we can restructure our children\u2019s ambitions by giving them potatoes to play with instead of human-shaped dolls.\u00a0 They can dress their little tubers in frilly dresses or put them in macho uniforms with matching caps and carry them around to cuddle and talk to when Mummy and Daddy won\u2019t listen.\u00a0 If you start a child early enough, his goals in life will become far more realistic. Young women will ache to become thick-wasted, faceless entities with little protrusions on their skin like the playthings that comforted them when they took a nap;\u00a0 boys will no longer gobble up porn with its images of hairless, busty women and muscular, well-hung men.\u00a0 Instead, they will go crazy with desire when they see a local farmer yanking a yam out of the earth.<\/p>\n
I envision a new world where the elderly with their aging bodies and shapeless silhouettes will suddenly become the most sought-after centerfolds in magazines and on the screen. Estrogen-deprived women with moustaches will turn on men with potbellies and bowing legs and anyone who dares to eat chips will be accused of cannibalism.<\/p>\n
So take heart all you people with bad measurements and loose body parts.\u00a0 Your time will soon be here. If you wait long enough, your image will be \u201din.\u201d<\/p>\n
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OH, YOU BEAUTIFUL DOLL!!!! People are obsessed with\u2026 Hairless, fatless Barbie Dolls. Gaby Hoffman A U.S. study has concluded that the dolls you play with influence your career choices.\u00a0 When…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[837],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-15437","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-joe-cillo"},"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":true,"span_bottom":"