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<\/a>\u201cI\u2019m all ears,\u201d asserts eavesdropper Woody Weingarten. Photo: Nancy Fox.<\/p><\/div>\n
No, of course I don\u2019t eavesdrop on purpose.<\/p>\n
But I do unintentionally pick up conversational crumbs during my dog-walking stints or other Ross Valley meanderings.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve learned the vicinity is a veritable hotbed of amusing or thought provoking <\/strong>verbal tidbits. Such as the following, extracted from the pile of Post-it collectibles on my desk:<\/p>\n A pair of girl bicyclists rests, cross-legged, on a downtown San Anselmo sidewalk. Says one, \u201cWhen I first met my boyfriend, he was feral.\u201d<\/p>\n Chatting outside a Sleepy Hollow residence, a redheaded midlifer tells a male companion, \u201cI thought Hostess was defunct, but I was wrong. Twinkies and Ho-Ho\u2019s have new outlets. Which confirms what I\u2019ve always believed \u2014 they have a shelf-life that ensures they, along with the cockroaches, will inherit the Earth.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhen I see how many of my gismos, thingamajigs and appliances are breaking down, some after only 30 or 40 days,\u201d laments a white-haired geezer to a checker in Fairfax\u2019s Good Earth Natural Foods, \u201cI hate to think about what\u2019s going on in my body after 92 years.\u201d<\/p>\n At the dog park behind Safeway in Red Hill, a grinning twentysomething guy rhetorically asks a chum, \u201cDid you hear that canines here communicate via pee-mail?\u201d<\/p>\n Husband in tattered shorts to overly loud wife in basic black outside Ross Post Office: \u201cI heard what you meant.\u201d<\/p>\n A blue-hair leaning on a cane at the Rino gas station in Fairfax says to a driver, \u201cI don\u2019t know about you but I can never rest in a restroom.\u201d<\/p>\n Angry young woman to red-faced young man in Bolinas Park in Fairfax: \u201cI am not<\/em> a stand-in in your movie.\u201d<\/p>\n As they both caress an assortment of nuts and bolts at Fairfax Lumber & Hardware, a young man with a nose-ring tells his girlfriend, who has both eyebrows pierced, \u201cHe got his B.S. degree in B.S.\u201d<\/p>\n Succinctly, on the lawn of Town Hall in San Anselmo, a female teenager tells a gal pal, \u201cI don\u2019t do boredom.\u201d<\/p>\n A forty-ish guy on the Kentfield campus of the College of Marin tells a younger classmate, \u201cWhen anyone calls a celebrity \u2018a legend,\u2019 that means the person being referred to is old, old, old \u2014 or dead.\u201d<\/p>\n At the Ross Valley Veterinary Hospital in San Anselmo, a mom asks her daughter: \u201cWhen all the newspapers disappear, will puppies be trained on Kindles?\u201d<\/p>\n Unsteady gray-haired guy in front of the San Anselmo\u2019s Lincoln Park wine bar who clearly did more than taste: \u201cMy life can be measured in troublesome channels. When I was five, it was Guadalcanal. Now, it\u2019s my alimentary canal.\u201d<\/p>\n While discussing her daughter\u2019s new boyfriend, a stylish Fairfax woman heading into 19 Broadway in Fairfax tells a companion, \u201cMy inner jury\u2019s still out.\u201d<\/p>\n Says one smiling matron to another as they window-shop at Fairfax Variety, \u201cHaving just learned that an American Headache Society exists gives me a headache.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cShe\u2019s a magnet for desperadoes,\u201d says one twinkle-eyed blonde in front of Andronico\u2019s in San Anselmo to another.<\/p>\n A man in a 49ers\u2019 cap says to a cop near the Parkade in Fairfax, \u201cOh, how quickly we forget. I wonder whatever happened to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the Sperminator.\u201d<\/p>\n Couplet overheard at the hub bus stop in San Anselmo: \u201cGreeting cards are getting expensive.\u201d \u201cYeah, but now they talk, sing and do your laundry.\u201d<\/p>\n A redhead sips a latte in San Anselmo\u2019s Marin Coffee Roasters and gripes, after her second date with the new man in her life, \u201cI have yet to find his sense of humor or personality.\u201d<\/p>\n An acne-ridden teen boy, licking a spoon in front of Gelato on San Anselmo Avenue: \u201cI believe in stating the obvious \u2014 because most people overlook it.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m 87 years old and still very much a work in progress,\u201d says a woman to her companion in Fairfax\u2019s Siam Lotus.<\/p>\n In the doorway of the Sunshine Bicycle Center in Fairfax, a youth whispers to himself, \u201cShe\u2019s somewhere between perfect and oh, my God.\u201d<\/p>\n A housefrau enters Seawood Photo in San Anselmo telling one friend about another: \u201cHe lives partly in Manhattan, partly in Florida, and wholly in yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n Drake High School student describes a verbose acquaintance thusly: \u201cHe\u2019s a wordaholic.\u201d<\/p>\n And here\u2019s my personal favorite:<\/p>\n A bald philosopher-king outside MC23 Salon in Ross says, \u201cMy recommendation for a bumper sticker is: \u2018Life is not a bumper sticker.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n You can contact Woody Weingarten @voodee@sbcglobal.net.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" No, of course I don\u2019t eavesdrop on purpose. But I do unintentionally pick up conversational crumbs during my dog-walking stints or other Ross Valley meanderings. I\u2019ve learned the vicinity…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":32,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"yasr_overall_rating":0,"yasr_post_is_review":"","yasr_auto_insert_disabled":"","yasr_review_type":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-13301","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-woody-weingarten"},"yasr_visitor_votes":{"stars_attributes":{"read_only":true,"span_bottom":"