A HUG IN TIME
A hug is the perfect gift- one size fits all
and nobody minds if you exchange it.
Irvin Ball
A very young man in our Midwest was expelled from school for hugging his teacher. The administration explained that his gesture of affection was inappropriate. The young man was 11 years old.
What a sad statement about an adult’s interpretation of a child’s spontaneous impulse. That young man was not planning to pin a teacher 30 years his senior and twice his size against a wall and ravish her. He was telling her, in the most wonderful way any human can, that she is a wonderful being to him.
I can think of no sweeter gift to receive than a hug …it says so much more than a kiss or fling between the sheets. It says, “I love who you are and I want you to know that right now.” It does NOT say, “You belong to me,” or “you need to live with me,” or “I need your body this minute.” Not at all.
It does say, “You are so great at this moment in time that I need to hold you close and absorb some of your lovely, inspiring energy.” What greater gift any anyone give another?
A few years ago, in Edinburgh I as walking down the street with an Englishman who had been such an immense help to me that I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Thank you seemed so lame, so inadequate. Suddenly, I knew that I had to hug him that very minute to show him that he was like a god to me….and I did. I dropped my packages and threw my arms around him and held him tight.
To my embarrassed surprise, he pushed me away. At first, I was humiliated and angry, but I was puzzled as well. I had no designs on him. I had no thoughts of indulging in lascivious behavior in the middle of a busy Edinburgh street. I was giving him the biggest compliment I knew how to give and he trampled on it. And then I realized how sad it was that this poor fellow didn’t understand the power of an innocent hug. He didn’t get that it is one of those human things we can do face to face. It cannot be done on a cell phone or skype. A facebook post is simply not the same. It doesn’t have the power…the intensity of feeling…. that a hug can give.
A hug has to be done person to person. It is a gorgeous moment in time that transforms your world for just a tiny. beautiful second. It is better than a vitamin, stronger than a shot of whisky and more lasting than any flower I could have pinned in that obtuse guy’s buttonhole.
I attributed his rejection to his being English until that next year when I came to Brighton and went down to the pier bearing a sign “HUG A GRANNY.” Since everyone on the pier was English, I figured I would stand there, shivering and alone for five minutes and then rollup my invitation and go home.
Not so.
Within seconds, I was hugged by couples, mothers, teen agers, tiny children, a whole school of adolescents and three policemen who assured me I had made their day. It might have been the sea air that loosened their inhibitions; it might have been that in Brighton we understand the value of a hug. I am not sure what caused the avalanche of affection I received that memorable day.
What I do know is that I will never be afraid to hug anyone ever again…it is the best way I know to say “What a unique human being you are!” and if that person doesn’t hear me? Well, I guess, if we were in America, he could expel me from school. BUT if he lived in Brighton, he would hug me right back.
