ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
Politeness; The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Ambrose Bierce
British men are the politest animals in the universe. The first thing they ask you is “Are you all right?” and, if you are an innocent, you believe they really want to know. They seem so caring, so mild, so…so sweet. But underneath that proper façade, lurks suppressed anger, aggression and hatred boiling about, absolutely aching to let off steam. Just ask any woman over 14. She knows. She has seen it. She has defended herself against it. And she has won.
Obviously, male testosterone and animal aggression are at an all time high universally in this century. In Spain, chastity belts are a way of life. In Greece,…well…we all know what those men do to a woman. In Britain, however all that hormonal activity is repressed and re-channeled.
That is why the crime rate for men in Britain has plummeted. The male Brit is simply too proper for confrontation. In the UK, the very idea of murder is terribly upsetting. It is so messy. The thought of assaulting someone on the street is repugnant to a real gentleman (and we all KNOW how correct an Englishman must appear). It might stain your shirt or even worse…leave a bruise.
Every woman in a heterosexual partnership can testify to the passive–aggressive garbage they must ignore every day (for they too are very PC.) For example, it is a well-known fact that a man will always call you darling before he hits you. Always. It is the way it is done.
The truth is that any fellow who is British in bed, will always apologize and we women know why. We watch pornography, too. In fact, although the maternal instinct is very strong, most women would prefer that their partner was not present at the conception of their children. They always hope for a French intervention…or even an Italian one. Those men don’t bother with protocol. They just get in there and get the job done.
No full-blooded Englishman ever actually leaves his wife. That explains those tortuous 40-year alliances that drag on and on plodding through rearing the children, indulging the grand kids and going on cruises to ease the boredom of it all. A real Englishman stays with his spouse and ignores for her for so long, that she is forced to leave to preserve her sanity. Clever fellows! That is how THEY become the injured one.
Besides, as every male knows, it is foolhardy to walk out of a partnership until he has found himself a proper house cleaner and a hot young thing for recreation.
The fact is that English MEN have a sense of entitlement that women must accept. They get it from their mothers. They know how to push the right buttons to make women and children indulge them and juries excuse their behavior.
The buttons they push these days are on their smart phones and their I-pads. Men in this country are addicted to online bullying and misanthropic tweeting. It doesn’t leave a scar. It is not unusual for a hard working woman, to slave away for 8 hours at the office, gallop to Lidl (she knows where to find the bargains) on the way home, Hoover the house as she charges through it to the kitchen to make a healthy stir fry for the children while her partner is belching quietly and watching television in the parlor, scratching his private parts. As she tosses the pasta into the drainer and chops the garlic, she will inevitably hear a beep from her phone, glance at it and see a picture of a hot pair of baubles with a cryptic note: “Why aren’t yours like this?”
Women are not bothered by all this foolishness. After all, we can multi-task. Don’t think you guys are the only ones with secrets. Women always have the final say when it comes to any connection with a man. We know how to say no.
